Sunday, October 15, 2006

That's gotta be SOME Bee!

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So I found this sign over at my new favorite website, and I guffawed out loud. You see, I'm terrified of bees. Am I allergic? No. Almost wish I was though cause then I'd have an excuse for running and screaming across the room. Perhaps it stems from the fact that my practical joke father use to kill bugs and then chase us down the hall with them smashed in a paper towel. After a while he'd just have to crumple up a paper towel and chase us with that, no bugs in sight. Well this reminded me of a couple funny bee related stories.

Let's see, well I once heard my ultra conservative and sweet mother utter her first swear word in my presence due to a bee. We had been picnicking at a park full of yellow jackets when one had apparently dug it's way into the sexy orange tweed car seat cover in our butterscotch van with the large side pipes. As we were driving out of the park it stung her on the behind and she said a word starting with SH** and swerved all over the road. Us kids were shocked and awed that day.

Another time on one of our famous family camping trips, my sister and I were sitting quietly in the first row of seats, listening to Olivia Newton John on the 8-track when all of the sudden (in the days before AC and the windows were all open) a monster of a huge bee (it was very large, and orange and black, though no one believes me now) flew in the front window and right between us. Simultaneously and with the grace of synchronized swimmers, we both threw our heads towards the middle of the car and screamed, both hitting each others head with such force that we almost knocked ourselves unconscious. We get mocked to this day over that story.

Just recently my hubby of 5 years got to see some bee fear in action. He really didn't know of my phobia and we were all getting into the car. About 2 feet in front of us was a little creek running though some property. We all get buckled in when I hear a buzzing down by my door. I look just in time to see a yellow jacket stuck inside the car. I flip out and start screaming, I threw my head into my husbands lap, lay sideways in my seat, and tried to kick open the door and unbuckle my seat belt at the same time. He had no IDEA what was happening and almost drove our car into the creek. 

Finally I get untangled, open the door, and start running. The bee flew out and I get back into the car. His adrenaline was pumping, I had freaked him out and he was now MAD. The step kids in the back seat were mad. As we pulled down this long driveway it was deathly silent and I could feel glares at the back of my head like heat rays. Suddenly the madness wore off and almost at the same time everyone burst out laughing. I felt totally stupid... but sheepishly told them of my irrational fear of bees. Anyway, so when I saw this sign I started to worry what kind of BEE would need a sign like that?! Makes ya wonder. I'm staying clear of Japan just in case.


Anonymous said...

What Jenn neglected to tell you was she went from seated properly to her head in my lap and her feet furiously kicking the door in 1/5 of a second!

~The Husband

I didn't even think about how the fence would keep the bee in!

Anonymous said...

Most husbands wouldn't mind a little lap action while driving Denn - what's your problem??

Anonymous said...

not complaining about the lap action... it was the high pitched shreeking and furious kicking!!

Anonymous said...

I never said the "Sh" word! I don't even know what that word
is.... I'm shocked that you thought I did! Ha! Good grief
those were some funny stories tho...I laughed outloud several
times and I was there for 2 of them! Great memories! Love Mom

Anonymous said...

Man, oh man! This was a good one. You have no idea how badly I wish I could've been there to mock...I mean comfort you in that car. :) You realize you could squish that bee between two finger...and how DARE you slander you Mother! I won't beleive it...I won't!! Maybe a little. :) At least there weren't any Killer Ladybugs.

Brenda said...

The last story is still one of my favorites of the trips we took together. I just remember thinking all that over a bee? You would have thought that there was a crazy axe murder somehow sitting at your feet in the car (though why you would first try to kick the door to get it open instead of pulling the lever is still beyond me). I think we were mad because for a moment we were really terrified for you and whatever seemed to be attacking you only to find out it was a bee. But like you said, it lasted maybe 10-15 feet down the driveway and the hilarity of it sunk in.

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