Spider Babies

So I was minding my own business, enjoying a regular Tuesday, when a sudden cry from my middle child came from somewhere upstairs. It was an urgent! "Mom... mom... MOM.. come HERE!" Each 'mom' getting progressively louder than the last, and so we all know that means - it's potentially super serious. So of course I go running up into her newly remodeled, grown-up teen bedroom. Under her loft bed we have hung up some pretty, sheer, pale blue drapes. And nestled in those drapes... up in a fold in the fabric, is a small lump of something black. Upon closer inspection as I take a few cautious steps forward.. I realized it was something much more terrifying... I felt my heart skip a beat.... it was this:

Oh hi!  I'm your worst nightmare!

What's this pray tell? Well it looks like a mama spider and her egg sac.. and what's worse than finding a mama spider and her egg sac?? Well how about finding a mama spider, her egg sac, AND that the egg sac has just burst open, and hundreds of tiny baby spiders are coming into the world, like right now!

I'll just give you a moment to shudder.

So, I've got like, two hot seconds to figure out what to do next because I'VE GOT EXPLODING SPIDER babies ready to infiltrate my house. I'm the only grown up in the house (#adultingsucks). I'm trying to remember... where in the heck did I get these curtains from? Amazon? Walmart? Did they come from Mexico? On slow boat from China?... Great! Now I'm thinking this was a stowaway renegade deadly Mexican spider, that had hidden away in the curtain lining until it was safe to have her babies and today was that day. ARG!

My two older girls head for the hills (immediately run as fast as they can down stairs to safety - thanks for the support ladies). I'm pretty sure they left a cartoon-type cloud of dust they moved so fast. 

My youngest is at least brave enough to hang out in the doorway, and even grabbed the vacuum and plugged it in for me (my new favorite child, and hey remind me to update my will).  My heart is beating out of my chest because they are HATCHING right now and moving away from the nest. I can't have a bunch of baby spiders living in my daughters room, because she will never EVER go in there again.

How am I going to do this from the WRONG side of the curtain? I'd have to climb behind and be in there WITH the spiders to be on their side. No way Jose.  I can take the long wand of the vacuum and slide it behind the curtain, and then I'm going to make tension on MY side of the curtain, and hopefully a miracle will happen. There's no way I can fail at this. If even ONE of them gets away, there's just no point of living in the house, right?!

Keeping this small for your safety

So I summon all of my courage and move the vacuum nozzle up towards the many, MANY spiders... and I am terrified to move in any closer.  What if the mama spider runs down the nozzle onto my hand? What if they all fall to the floor? As the barrel of the vacuum gets close to the area, it suddenly sucked the whole curtain area into the hose with a tremendous WOOSH!  

Holy CRAP what have I done!?

I just watch helplessly as the curtain is sucked further and further into the barrel of the vacuum wand. Can't I just leave it like this for the next 5 years?

Ever so slowly... I pull out the curtain with my hand that's on this side of the curtain (keeping the tension) and.. everything is still there. 

Crap. 

The spider was pretty ticked off too. Hopping mad actually. Running around in that tiny slot of the curtain. Then, I almost fainted. I was literally shaking. In hindsight it's probably not good to faint in front of an angry spider and her hundreds of babies...

Note to self, don't pass out in front of angry deadly multiple spiders.

How I summoned more courage at this point, I'll never know. I put the nozzle back up the back of the curtain, very close to the spider fortress, and I put more tension on my side of the curtain and the fold is the fabric is more open this time, and I'm going slowly because I want to make sure this is the LAST TIME I HAVE TO DO THIS... and POOF... it sucks in the whole area down into the barrel of the vacuum wand... and when I pull it back out I also kept applying tension and...

The whole damn thing was gone!

Mama spider, baby spiders, egg sac.  The whole nine yards!!!

I'm pretty sure Jesus himself made the spiders vanish because I absolutely don't know how all of them could be gone.

Thank you Jesus!!!

I'm doubting my success. I've still got the vacuum on and running. I planning on running it for a good 5 more minutes too, maybe until tomorrow. I'm scared they are stuck halfway down the hose... all the while, checking for spiders and baby spiders all up and down the curtains. Nothing.  Not on the floor, not above the curtain rod... like got them all in one fell swoop?!

I lock the vacuum rod back in place, hopefully sealing them to their doom. (And when I say HOPEFULLY I mean if there is any justice in the world they will stay in their little dust cavern for all of eternity)- or until my husband can dispose of the contents in a safe and responsible manner, probably out in the middle of the street, and shortly after that I can set the vacuum on fire.

You know, just to be really REALLY sure they are gone.

Happy Happy Joy Joy - the story of how we got our kitty with the unusual markings

Hello and Happy Happy Joy Joy to you in 2019!

I wanted to share a cute, quick story of how we obtained Happy, our 4th kitty and his crazy unusual markings (and to wish you a happy new year)!

Introducing Happy - the kitty

You might be thinking, now how does someone totally allergic to cats end up with four of them?  Well we rescued a few, and one even adopted us. (I'm most likely just a saint, who's love for animals outweighs my pesky love of breathing... that's the ticket). 
 FYI - I'll post our four-kitty back story at the end of this post for those that are interested), 

but now onto the mysterious little story how Happy became ours.

So my middle child loves leopards. She loves cats.  She loves animals! Two years in a row she had a cat-themed birthday party.  One year was a leopard party, one year it was a kitty cat party.

 

All the kids adopted stuffed kittens and dressed like kitties, and made collars for them

What she really really wished for was a Bengal kitten, because they look just like a mini leopard. We already had what I thought was too many cats, and of course bangle kittens can be very pricey. 

A Bengal cat... adorable, very leopard like, and often pricey!

Plus we weren't going to spend a ton of money on a highly energetic and expensive cat, when most of our cats were rescues. I said almost sarcastically one day to her, look, if a Bengal kitten randomly shows up on our doorstep, we can totally keep it.

As it got closer to her birthday, we though maybe we could find a kitty on Craigslist or somewhere local that needed a home, looked like a Bengal, but of course without the hefty price tag. After days of searching my husband found a very good candidate.
 

What's not to love about this tiny little face?

He was striped, with spots on his tummy, very unusual markings all over in leopard colors that were quite beautiful. He called the lady to get more information, and sadly she said sorry, someone was already coming that day to pick him up. Boo. We were pretty disappointed because he seemed so purrfect, but luckily we had not told the girls about any of this.

The very next day, she called us back and said the other people never showed up, would we like to come see him. We said YES and she gave us her address.

Check this out, she lived IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD, down the street, 

like SIX houses away!  (practically on our doorstep).  


We told the girls and took a short walk down the street to see the kitty.  He was SO adorable. 
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Instant Happiness!

Here he is looking so sweet and tiny.

Baby Happy

 He had spots on his tummy, he looked like a mini leopard.  

Look at that leopard tummy!

We fell in love.  We took him home.

My middle child named him "Happy" because she was so very happy! (Plus, our other cats all have 'H' names (Hemi, Haley, Henry - and now Happy)

Eva and Happy!

So Happy became a part of our family.  He lived up to his name and made everyone a little happier!

Smiles all around!

As he got a little bigger, we noticed something a bit unusual. His stripes formed readable letters. We were totally SHOCKED when we realized what it spelled.

Hello world!  Live, from the super soft blanket.

On one side of his body, the word spelled out "got" (like "got milk").

See the "got"in the center of his body?

 I will trace the letters so you can see it better:

His right side spells "got"

One the OTHER side of his body, the stripes spelled out "JOY"

"JOY"

 Here's the traceable letters:

We actually couldn't believe it!

Not. Kidding. His stripes spelled JOY! His name is HAPPY!!!

That's right, this random kitty who practically landed on our doorstep, who looked like a little leopard, whom we named Happy because he brought my Eva joy, has the words "Got Joy" on his body!

Happy - meant to be a part of our family

It's one of those goose bump moments where you just know something was just meant to be!!!

So I thought this would be the happiest of stories to start off the 2019 year with, and I wanted to wish a happy HAPPY new year to you and yours!!!

Wishing this new year brings you happiness!!




*Here's the four-kitty back story for those that are interested:

We lived in a town house when we were first married when a feral kitty showed up at our back door. I fed him tuna because that's all I had on hand, he was hungry, and of course (well I know now) after the tuna, he never left. He was mostly an outdoor kitty and so I didn't have to worry about my allergies (he didn't want to come in). After we moved to our new house, we took the kitty with us but sadly one summer night a few years later, he didn't come home. Heartbroken we searched for weeks around the neighborhood and all the shelters with no luck. While we were at the shelter, about a month later, we did look at some other cats that needed to be adopted.  In box #2 was a little kitty that we took into a room and he instantly loved us. We decided to take him home. He purred like a little engine and so we named him Hemi.  I also thought it was a sign that he was in box #2, he was cat #2 for us.  

Hemi and Vivian when she was a baby

Hemi also was an indoor/outdoor kitty, and that was ALL the cats we were going to have... because of my allergies... Ha. that's funny now.

Hemi - all grown up and regal looking (we think he's part main coon)

So one day several years later, we were over at my father-in-law's house and they had a little female kitten, orange and white with blue eyes.  She was the softest, fluffiest, kitty ever. 

Haley - fluffy and so so soft.

She was a Manx breed (without a tail), and she didn't have a home. I took one look at her and told my husband (much to his shock) that she was coming home with us. I surprised myself actually, but they didn't have a home for her, the last female of the litter, and something about her said she needed to come home with us. We named her Haley. She's a sweet but very shy kitty. She only likes quiet people and adores the girls. If you come to my house you might never see her. She stays in mostly one room upstairs. She adores me.  She sleeps on my hip at night. She purrs like crazy. 

Haley two days ago, sleeping on my hip

Note: I think I've built up a tolerance with my allergies. I am not bothered by the cats unless I touch them and then touch my eyes or face. I just wash my hands and vacuum a lot. Needless to say I went from a dog person to a cat person since being married, which rather shocked my whole family.

So two kitties is way more than I ever planned to own. We were good. Then a few years later a very pale orange kitty followed the girls home. They kept calling him "orange kitty" but he was so pale, I joked he looked like the ghost of an orange kitty. He literally camped out on my doorstep, curled on our front mat like he owned the place. I'm not sure if there was an invisible sign outside our house that said "these people are suckers for cats" or "cats welcome" or what, but it was freezing outside and he stayed right on our front mat. I felt so bad, he was so skinny. I gave him some tuna, because I was making some for lunch (see my pattern) and then bam. He was ours.

Eva taking care of Henry when he first adopted us and came inside.  He was very grateful.

(Note: Well we took him to the vet first to make sure he wasn't tagged or chipped, put notices out in the neighborhood to make sure he wasn't someone's pet already. When no one responded after a good amount of time, we gave him his shots and chipped him). We also gave him his name, which is officially "The Ghost of King Henry VIII" or Henry for short (mostly due to my love of all things in the Tudor period, plus his super pale color).

Henry and Eva are still great pals to this day.

So that is the story of how we have so many cats.  Happy came along a few years back and completed our cat family.

So make the most of this year ahead! Adopt a pet, add a friend to the family, love each other and treat each other with all kindness - all year through!

Death Roses and Rainbows - A Mother's Day Story

Here's a funny little story that happened last year on Mother's Day I'd like to call "Death Roses and Rainbows" that I thought you would enjoy.

Death Roses and Rainbows... A true story.

Mother's day gets you thinking.  You know the one thing every mom secretly wants, is not necessarily the cards, presents, chocolates or gifts, but just for their children to recognize all the hard work and dedication it takes to be a mom.  Of course when they are still little, it might be YEARS before they can truly appreciate all the small things you did for them on a daily basis.

When your are deep in those mommy trenches, they have no idea that one little chubby-armed hug can erase countless sleepless nights, one bubbly coo can make the smell of a poopy diaper vanish (well almost), and turn your day completely around. Even one friendly smile from a formally sulky teenager can make all  the moody ups and downs worth it.  That's it. That's all we mom's want. Just an appreciative thank you goes a long way.  We love that.  That stuff can keep us floating for the next full year, through piles of dirty dishes to wash, mountains of laundry to fold, and sassy moody door slams. 

Calgon, take me away!

So when I married my hubby, he had two older kids, and so I instantly became a step mom to teenagers at the ripe old age of 28.  They were 12 and 15 at the time.  Brenda, the oldest and I have become great friends over the years.  She is all grown up now, and is married now with a husband and a little girl of her own.  For several years she was away in the military and has just recently moved back into the area.  When she was away, she would always send me special packages on mother's day.  So sweet.  Last year, even though they now live close by, she let me know I should still be expecting a package for Mother's day... and so on the day it arrived, I was very excited.  I decided to give her a play by play via text, so she could "watch me open it".

Behold.. the box.

Well the box sort of tipped me off right away to what it was, but who doesn't love flowers!?  Still a fabulous surprise!  Not only that, but as I was cracking open the box, I noticed how well secured these were in the box, and they smelled fabulous.  The card inside said that these were cut in the Andes mountains of Ecuador (ooo fancy) and had been delivered only 3-4 days after being cut. 

The box.  The box of promises...

As I take off the outer layers of packaging I get my first glimpse of the flowers, and am taken a little aback.  They are pretty dark.  I'm guessing a dark purple or a velvety black?

Very very dark roses

Brenda has not received my text yet on what the roses look like, because the last picture she got was them still in the box unseen, but she does tell me she is so excited, if they look anything like the picture on line, she is going to be thrilled!!  So I continue to cut them out of the packaging and man they are dark.  

Dark blue leaves are normal, right?

 Like really dark.

Are these sucking the light from the room, or is it just me?

The leaves are dark indigo blue, and almost look like bat wings.  Did she really mean to send me black roses? 

I love you... double. death.

 If you get black death roses from a step child... what exactly does that say about your parenting skills?  This cannot be good.

I tell myself (starting to rationalize why she would send me black roses) she and her husband Julian love goth type things.  Maybe this is a statement that they love me as much as they love gothy things??  Yes! That has to be it.  I can't help but think these are pretty severe as far as color.  Very deathly.  I was trying to picture me putting  a snapshot of these out on Facebook with a "look what Brenda gave me for mother's day" post and wondering what people might think.   

These vampire roses almost have a dark red to them in the sunlight, so that's something.

 
Meanwhile, she is texting... what do they look like.  I send her that first picture from above with the double vases on the table.  I tell her as a guess, are they dark purple, or a velvety black?  There is a pause in the texts.  Finally she comes back.

Her:  Nooooooooo
Me:   No?

Her:  Why are they black?
Me: Were they suppose to be another color??

Her:  They were suppose to be several colors

Her:  I sent you RAINBOW roses.

Me: Blinking
Me:  Shut up.  They make rainbow roses??  I LOVE rainbows!

Her:  WHY ARE THEY BLACK? 
Her:  Those look like they belong in a funeral home

Me (thinking quietly): I couldn't agree more

She was so upset.  I guess the company had made a mistake and sent the wrong color roses to me.  Not only did I have 12 of these roses, but a whole TWO dozen of them. Two vases full! Twenty-four black as night roses staring at me all ghostly hallows dementor-like from the kitchen table. 

Soul sucking roses at your service...

The nice thing about our family, is that we have a pretty good since of humor. This whole situation became hilarious to me. Her dad also was getting the play by play of this flower opening fiasco, and was already texting and teasing her about "remember that time you sent your step mom DEATH roses?  She was mortified.

So. Stunned.

I also had a wild and crazy thought that somewhere else in the world, some poor goth bride in a black dress and veil were waiting for the last minute delivery of her wedding bouquet black roses, and was heartbroken to find my beautiful, cheerful rainbow roses instead.  That alone had me cracking up every time I passed the jet black flowers on the table. 

Where oh where are my death roses?  This is my special DAY!

Well she called the company and they made good on their mistake... a few days later I received another box in the mail...  

It's the "getting my hopes up box"...

and I started to unveil them... almost too nervous to peek at the contents inside....

Bright colors as far as the eye can see! 

Say WHAT?!  These are BEAUTIFUL!  Like amazing!!   I slowly take them out of the box and lovingly prep them for a vase.  

Amazing Rainbow Roses

 These are incredible.  Each flower petal is a different color.  

Gorgeous!

How in the world is this accomplished?!

I spent the next few minutes... okay days, taking pictures of these gorgeous things in different light settings.   

Seriously I couldn't stop.

There is no bad angle on rainbow roses! They look good from all directions.

 So pretty in this light.

Rainbow roses are the best. thing. ever!

Brenda knew I loved rainbows, and so she gave me rainbows for mother's day. How sweet is this kid!? We kept the rainbow roses up as long as they would last, and then I ended up pulling off the petals on half of them to dry them and did an art project with them, and the other half I dried upside down so I could keep some forever.  The fact that they started out as shocking black "death roses" that turned into something so spectacular and special makes the story even better.  I do wish you and yours a very happy mother's day this year.  Whether they be biological or step, adopted, or grafted into the family, be sure to take some time out to thank a mom near you as soon as possible.  I promise even death roses can't break the bond of motherly love!