Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Isn't it Ironic??

So many people have a difference of opinion when it comes to the definition of ironic. Some people confuse coincidence or sarcasm with irony. There is of course the official dictionary definition of irony:


1. Expression in which the intended meaning of the words is the direct opposite of their usual sense. 

2. An event or result that is the opposite of what is expected.

My friend and I had a conversation once about Alanis Morissette's song "Isn't it Ironic". Basically all of her examples in that song are not true representations of the term irony. Rain on your wedding day, a traffic jam, when you're already late, a no smoking sign on your cigarette break, a man who's afraid to fly and his plane crashes. All of these are examples of bad luck and sometimes horrible coincidences, but are not truly ironic situations. After much discussion we DID conclude however, in a most delicious and hilarious way, that writing a song entitled "Isn't it Ironic" in which no content contained actual examples of irony, was INDEED ironic! So did Alanis know this all along? She must have - and still the debate lingers on. Here's a few links on all you'll ever need to know about the term Irony. Learn it well then lord it over others.



Friday, March 17, 2006

Happy St. Patrick's Day

So I just wanted to wish you a very Happy St. Patrick's Day. My family is of Irish descent, so I'm sure you spent it like most of us... You woke up, took a shower with your Irish Spring, dressed in shades of green, whistled an Irish tune on the way down stairs for a scrumptious bowl of Lucky Charms, frolicked around the nearest meadow in search of a four leaf clover, said "Top O' the mornin' to ya" in your best Irish accent to everyone you passed, followed a rainbow for a chance at some gold, listened to Enya, had potatoes and a delectable shamrock shake for lunch, had corn beef and cabbage for dinner, Made your way to a local Irish pub where you downed a pint of green Guinness and swapped limericks with the locals, walked drunkenly home upon which you swore you saw a leprechaun, kissed the blarney stone then dozed off in bed watching River dance.

Or you could do what my mom did and dye all of our food green for the day. Growing up we would always know it was St. Patty's Day by the menu. Often we would have green pancakes for breakfast or dinner, or green eggs, or green mash potatoes, or green mac and cheese for lunch. Even the milk was dyed green. I have happily carried this tradition on with my own little family and it's always a big hit. Anyway, just wanted to wish you a very happy St. Patrick's Day.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

So what's up with Baking Soda?

So I got to thinking the other day about baking soda and it's seemingly endless magical list of things it can do. What IS this crazy white powder and could we as a species manage to live without it now that it's so apart of our everyday lives? If it had been discovered in only recent years the government probably would of swooped down, locked it up in Area 51 and dubbed it "classified" for sure. What other substance can do things like this:

As a toothpaste
As a deodorant
As an antacid
As a facial scrub
A household cleaner
A laundry detergent
A soother of bee stings and rashes
A neutralizer of battery acid in case of spills
A rust remover
An odor neutralizer
A jewelry cleaner
A drain unclogger
A flea killer

And these are just a few. All of this PLUS you can put it in your cakes and cookies to make them light and airy. It just boggles the mind. So the next time you grab for your trusty box of arm and hammer, don't just think you're using boring old Sodium Bicarbonate, but rather you hold in your hand the most wonderful miracle powder that the world has ever seen.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Glad I'm not one of dem "smart" kids

So there are book smarts, and street smarts - but the question is, which is better? Back in junior high we had this program for "gifted" students called QUEST. Most of the kids in there were major nerds or pseudo-intellectual snobs. One of my good friends happened to be lumped in with this snooty group and luckily for us she became our spy - and so it is to her we must thank for this story.

They were all taking a trip to the ocean (west coast) for a group problem solving weekend, with games and obstacle courses. The first night there they all went down to the beach for a BBQ and campfire. They watched the sun set and roasted marshmallows, then went back to their hotel for the night. They decided to get up very early the next morning to maybe catch a glimpse of the sunrise. So down they all trot to the beach with their blankets and beach towels (with their adult teachers) and sit to watch the sunrise over the ocean. Well it keeps getting lighter and lighter out and still no sun. Finally one of them turns around and sees the sun rising over Mt. Rainier... in the EAST. That's right folks, they were sitting on the SAME beach (facing west) where they had seen the sun vanish only 12 hours before, and they were waiting to see it come back up over the same skyline.

I would of paid BIG money to see the looks on their dumbfounded faces when they realized their blunder. How must those teachers have felt? Apparently they all swore an immediate oath never to reveal this story to anyone back at school. I just have to thank my good friend for spilling the beans to me shortly after, because for once, it felt really GOOD not being considered one of them "smart" kids.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

There's a wasp in my Newton!

So it's probably a good idea that you don't know everything that's in the food you're eating. Like back in junior high when I learned how hotdogs were made and I stopped eating meat for a couple of years. Or maybe the fact that most food that is dyed red is actually made from a certain type of squashed bug. Well if it weren't for that darn Discovery Channel trying to "teach" us stuff, I never would have been swayed away from what once had been a delectable "fruit and cake" treat.

The now infamous show featured figs and the pollination of fig trees. A certain type of wasp would come down and lay their eggs in the figs, fertilizing the fig flower at the same time, and then the baby larvae would grow inside the fruit and use it as subsistence until they hatched. Now that show was on years ago, but I got it into my head that when you bite into a fig Newton, those little crunchy things I thought were fig seeds were really WASP eggs. I stopped eating them all together. Luckily in recent years those clever people at the Newton factory came up with new flavors like strawberry, raspberry, and apple, so we could potentially be back in the fruit and cake business someday soon.

So flash forward to when I meet my husband, who happens to love love love his Newtons and it is then I remember the wasp egg factor. Of course no one really wants to believe me, so I jump on my trusty internet research ban wagon to search out the truth. Guess what? I'm RIGHT! Sort of. Each fig plant needs it's own special wasp to pollinate it. The female wasp squeezes into the fruit, lays her eggs, loses her wings in the process, fertilized the fig, then dies IN the fig. Then the wasp larvae grow eating off the fig and the wingless males are born and mate with the females who do have wings. The males die (in the fig) and the females fly off with their home fig pollen stuck to themselves to go find another fig to pollinate and start the whole process over. Those crunchy little pods (or nullets/galls) are formed by wasp pollination. So the wasp larvae eat off the fig to survive and in turn, the fig digests the dead wasps to produce the energy to grow into figs. The female wasp and half her offspring give their lives so you can enjoy a fresh Newton snack cake. Mmmm Tasty. Now don't say I never taught you nothin'...

Web links for wasp-fig relations below:



Thursday, March 09, 2006

Random Facts About Me

30 Interesting Facts about me:
So you think you might want to get to know me better? I thought I'd share some of the more interesting things about me:

1. I can name the premise of any Little House episode by watching the first few frames
2. I analyze handwriting as a hobby
3. I am afraid of anything in a mask. This includes, clowns, mimes, rapists, and nutcrackers
4. I love love love roller coasters but am terrified of Ferris wheels
5. I read pretty fast and love books in general - often reading them in one day
6. I always smell my food before I take the first bite
7. I can play a song on the piano after hearing it basically once (not classical though)
8. Two things I cannot tolerate is hair in food or mold. I gag.
9. After having my first margarita, I stole a mini American flag from the main street in my town
10. I have named all my cars, and most of my plants
11. I love disco balls, but not dancing
12. I once owned supernatural fish. They were suppose to live for 6 months, but lived for almost 5 years.
13. I look behind every shower curtain before going to the bathroom thanks to my father, who use to hide behind them and jump out and scare us.
14. I get most of my Christmas shopping done by November
15. My sister and I have a made up language called the Jong e nong nong language
16. I think teenage boys smell like BO and gym socks
17. I have very strange and funny dreams. Often with movie star cameos. Some famous people who have appeared in my dreams are: Drew Carry, Meg Ryan, Janet Jackson, John Goodman, and the Indigo girls to name a few
18. I once was a radio dj for a station that played "continuous soft favorites"
19. My siblings and I have an unspoken contest to see who can make our mom cry the most with the most sentimental mother's day card
20. I didn't see a rated 'R' movie until I was 19 years old. Didn't have my first drink till I was 22
21. I will run screaming from any bee
22. I love the smell of school bus fumes
23. I love the "Far Side", "Deep Thoughts", Conan O'Brien, and Steven Wright
24. I'm a re-gifter
25. I hate shaking hands with people
26. I compose lullabies for all of my siblings children and my own when they are born
27. When I was younger, all of my socks had to perfectly match my outfit. My sock drawer was a rainbow of colors
28. I refuse to wear name tags at any function
29. Our family mascot is a boxing nun puppet
30. My favorite birthday memory was my 27th. We were completely sober but in a span of a few minutes a large group of friends had reenacted the manger scene in front of a miniature Statue of Liberty on the beach at midnight, then square danced to no music while a Korean guy clapped the beat.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Happiest Place on Earth?

So you're probably wondering what this picture is of? Well it's another one of those completely unplanned pictures that end up amusing me greatly. We were at Disneyland a few months back and were watching the big 50th anniversary fireworks show in front of Sleeping Beauty's castle. Everything was going just fine until my husband snapped this particular shot at the perfect shutter speed.

Not only does it look like we've just witnessed the largest atomic bomb in history, but Mickey and Walt himself are leading us into the heart of the apocalypse. It looks like our very last day on earth. I guess if you were going to be annihilated from all time and space, Disneyland would be better than most places. I just wonder if it would still be considered the "happiest" place on earth?
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