Sunday, October 15, 2006

That's gotta be SOME Bee!

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So I found this sign over at my new favorite website, and I guffawed out loud. You see, I'm terrified of bees. Am I allergic? No. Almost wish I was though cause then I'd have an excuse for running and screaming across the room. Perhaps it stems from the fact that my practical joke father use to kill bugs and then chase us down the hall with them smashed in a paper towel. After a while he'd just have to crumple up a paper towel and chase us with that, no bugs in sight. Well this reminded me of a couple funny bee related stories.

Let's see, well I once heard my ultra conservative and sweet mother utter her first swear word in my presence due to a bee. We had been picnicking at a park full of yellow jackets when one had apparently dug it's way into the sexy orange tweed car seat cover in our butterscotch van with the large side pipes. As we were driving out of the park it stung her on the behind and she said a word starting with SH** and swerved all over the road. Us kids were shocked and awed that day.

Another time on one of our famous family camping trips, my sister and I were sitting quietly in the first row of seats, listening to Olivia Newton John on the 8-track when all of the sudden (in the days before AC and the windows were all open) a monster of a huge bee (it was very large, and orange and black, though no one believes me now) flew in the front window and right between us. Simultaneously and with the grace of synchronized swimmers, we both threw our heads towards the middle of the car and screamed, both hitting each others head with such force that we almost knocked ourselves unconscious. We get mocked to this day over that story.

Just recently my hubby of 5 years got to see some bee fear in action. He really didn't know of my phobia and we were all getting into the car. About 2 feet in front of us was a little creek running though some property. We all get buckled in when I hear a buzzing down by my door. I look just in time to see a yellow jacket stuck inside the car. I flip out and start screaming, I threw my head into my husbands lap, lay sideways in my seat, and tried to kick open the door and unbuckle my seat belt at the same time. He had no IDEA what was happening and almost drove our car into the creek. 

Finally I get untangled, open the door, and start running. The bee flew out and I get back into the car. His adrenaline was pumping, I had freaked him out and he was now MAD. The step kids in the back seat were mad. As we pulled down this long driveway it was deathly silent and I could feel glares at the back of my head like heat rays. Suddenly the madness wore off and almost at the same time everyone burst out laughing. I felt totally stupid... but sheepishly told them of my irrational fear of bees. Anyway, so when I saw this sign I started to worry what kind of BEE would need a sign like that?! Makes ya wonder. I'm staying clear of Japan just in case.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I'm back... and I've brought weapons!

OK so I've been away for awhile. My little one (the mini acrobat) gleefully ran off a kitchen chair a few weeks back and broke her arm, so I've been distracted with all the trauma that goes along with an injured child. Now that she's on the mend I'm feeling much more like writing again. I apologize for the hiatus and promise more fun stories and pictures. Speaking of which, I must share with you my favorite picture from a Halloween a few years back...
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At first you must be saying to yourself, WOW, that must of been SOME party. Especially considering the fact that there was no alcohol involved. I love this picture for the fact that you can just stare at it and try to make some kind of story about it. Let's break it down.

Well at first you might see the poor hapless teenager who goes by the common name of "Jenny" (written on her skirt). I happen to know for a fact that this is not her name, so she's assuming the identity of cheerleaders every where with a name they can relate to.
That's Jenn with TWO n's 

She's not looking at her ever present attacker, but smiling slyly for the camera. Then there's chick wearing the heart on her head. She smiles knowingly as something bad is about to happen. Love IS blind, they say... here they mean it literally.

Then we've got a bee type character off to side. Hey, there's always bee's around pooh as he searches for honey. Then, the more obvious characters. There a very randy Austin Powers taking it all in - with what appears to be at least 3 gym socks in his trousers. He's quite out of place for this picture, but makes it all the more interesting. Lastly, we have Pooh. Beloved storybook character from yesteryear. However as we can see, pooh is on a mission. Pooh looks beYOND annoyed and has found a machete somewhere in the 100 acre woods and is wielding it around in a chopping-like fashion at on lookers. Has the cheerleader done something to deserve this, or has pooh gone mad? Either way it makes for one GREAT picture.

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