Wednesday, February 15, 2006

That's Jenn... with two "N's".

There's a statistic floating around out there that says that 80% of American men have dated a Jennifer at one time or another in their life. There sure are a LOT of us out there. In school there were at least three in every class, so the only way to tell us apart was our last initial. I was Jenny F., a moniker that stuck with me until the ripe old age of 13, when I learned that "Jenny" was another name for a female donkey, or rather, jackass.

After that I decided a slight name change was in order. Of course one could opt for the formal given name of "Jennifer", but that tends to bring up all the times when you had done something bad, and your full name, including middle, would be strung together in the most horrible way and you KNEW you were in big trouble. So that leaves you the option of shortening your name to Jen or Jenn. Over the years and after meeting many Jenns and Jens, I've come to some common conclusions. In my opinion, the one 'n' Jen is sort of taking the lazy way out. Sure Jen will get you through in a pinch. You have all the necessary letters to form the sounds to make the name, but many one 'n' Jens are just that, one dimensional. Oh sure, they're a social breed, lots of friends, and tend to be sporty, popular, and especially gravitate towards cheer leading, however if you're looking for a little more substance and a lifetime of hilarity, try to find yourself a two 'n' Jenn. We're creative, clever, and loyal.

Many a time my theory has been put to the test when one of my guy friends starts dating a Jennifer. I ask... does she spell her name with one 'n' or two? When they say one 'n' I tell them to head for the hills. One 'n' Jens are notorious bad girlfriend material. My one friend Kyle scoffed at my theories and took his one 'n' Jen on a double date/vacation with his brother and fiance. Halfway through their vacation and trapped on an island paradise completely surrounded by water, the one 'n' Jen flipped out, went psycho, and ruined their whole vacation. So if you look around and find yourself in the presence of a two 'n' Jenn, consider yourself very lucky. Like a needle in a haystack, like a diamond in the rough... you've found a rare thing.

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